Comments on: Episode 2 : Saving Face in Thai culture

By: Martin Tschumi

Martin Tschumi — Mon, 29 Jun 2020 15:36:18 +0000

The Thais do their best to appear lovely, sweet and kind.
Even when they grow older they generally do not mature.
They remain infantle and cannot cope with any form of criticism.

By: Steve Furlong

Steve Furlong — Sat, 25 Apr 2020 05:03:53 +0000

it will not take decades, it will take centuries for Thais to not lie constantly. It is in their DNA. Never trust any Thai woman, period. It is rampant in middle and higher class as well. This is not just a bar girls thing, it’s all Thai woman. All whores.

By: Bobby

Bobby — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 05:46:38 +0000

Your comment (and the one from June 2017) is the only one that partly touches on my problems with the whole “saving face” crap… I have a Thai boyfriend and I’m really struggling to understand this face saving and how to deal with it. I value honesty above all and I have no problem admitting when I don’t know something, and apologising when I’m wrong. But he’s not the same – he very rarely admits that he doesn’t know something (even if it’s totally irrelevant and I don’t expect him to know it) and, instead, gives clearly meaningless answers. If I point out that his answers don’t make sense (and that’s fine, I will ask someone else), he just keeps repeating them and insists that they are correct. The only thing I can do is say “okay baby”.
But more broadly, whether we disagree about something, or I point out something stupid that he did, he will never admit that he’s wrong or did anything wrong. I understand the need to save face, but as you pointed out, the only way out is inevitably for me to lose my face. I have to apologise for things I didn’t do just to keep the peace. Most of the time, I don’t mind, but it always bothers me, because he always acts like he’s right and I’m wrong. Also, as you pointed out, even the slightest criticism of something that the Thai govt or a Thai person did, is taken very personally as a criticism of his country, culture and himself. So I’ve stopped criticising. Even the slightest joke about how he pronounces a word in English is met with a tirade about my pronunciation in Thai.
He completely lacks self-reflection and self-criticism andI don’t know how to handle it. I basically have to agree with everything, take the blame, apologise, and I just try not to say anything. The only small consolation is that months after he does something stupid, in a rare fit of honesty, he does admit to having done something stupid in the past. But if i dwell on it, or demand an apology, things get sour again…
I feel like this is a dishonest way to have a relationship and I just want to know how other people manage these situations. Surely, there are many farang + Thai couples but what is it that I need to learn?

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By: Professor

Professor — Sat, 24 Jun 2017 13:05:19 +0000

The first and foremost lie is that there is such a thing as a Thai. It’s a fabrication. There is no ‘Thai’ just as there is no ‘American’ way of doing things.
What there is and this is truth…is self-respect. Thai nationals who have self-respect do not use lies as a way of saving face. They may use a white lie as any other people would do in situations where confrontation is best avoided. However a good number of Thais will use ANY lie to exploit a situation and take no accountability for their actions. If you catch them in the lie they expect you to give them the license and protect their face. By doing so you break your own face (integrity).

There is ONLY one way to save face/not lose face. It is a universal truth. Integrity.

By: richard long VIII

richard long VIII — Mon, 08 May 2017 09:32:19 +0000

i can still hear them lazy pigs asking set ? set? set?

i aint cum yet ! yet!YET!!- pai chip hai! mo..

i have learned my hand is better than any trash thai female.
.
fake smile , money grubbing paracites they are ..

i know how to speak spanish fluently and visit south american countires often !

aint no mo asia fo me neva eva a gain.

By: buffalo

buffalo — Sun, 30 Oct 2016 13:31:26 +0000

Talk to your grandma’s hand! Thai people are brainwashed since they were born. That why they are selfish, ego…..etc..never trust or talk to a Thai. Thai are liars…like to give excuses cuz of face facing..did Buddhism teaches u guys to tell white lies? Cuz thai are coward..whenever there is a problem, they will avoid & run away. Excuses….to avoid confrontation. Bullshit…you guys are coward! Waste of time cuz Thailand is a third world country..no need to explain further…

By: Robin Evarts

Robin Evarts — Wed, 26 Oct 2016 02:45:52 +0000

I keep saying to my husband of 9 years ,’ You need a wife from Thailand’. I mean it! Enough said!

By: professor

professor — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 09:00:36 +0000

The Thai obsession with saving face is the equivalent of murdering someone and not wanting to take responsibility for the crime. That’s it. Plain and simple. Thai culture my ass. They want it both ways.

If Thais were so conscious about their “face”, they would act according to the perception they intend others to have of them. If you don’t want people to call you a liar, don’t lie. If you don’t want people to call you a whore, don’t be a whore. If you don’t want people to call you a scammer, don’t scam.

By this comment, one would think this applies only to the shadier aspects of Thai society, but it does, in large part, apply to Thai society as a whole. A near total inability to be honest with oneself, which is why you will often hear Thais asking why do foreigners do this or that, but will despise the same question asked to them by a foreigner.

Of course there are Thais who are very aware of this, usually at the upper scale of society. But then many of these Thais will happily break people’s faces for their own gain. This can be evidenced by the number of defamation suits filed from one wealthy magnate to another, and so on…

Then you have the Thais criticizing every type of nationality they have come across…but when you criticize Thais, they can’t handle it. They may call an Indian “cheap” for tipping a small amount not even considering the Indian may not have the means to tip “large”. Perhaps one could argue that Indians are cheap…but how many Thais have you met who didn’t even offer to pay the bill, let alone offer a tip? How often do Thais tip? There is no self-reflection.

They want to get away with murder and not be called out for it.

Call me whatever you want. In my view, if you disrespect others, you deserve a face washing.

The only person who can break your face is you – by your deeds.

By: James

James — Sat, 18 Jun 2016 06:59:15 +0000

If you want to learn first hand what “saving face”, or “losing face” means to Thailand people, (some, not all), drive a vehicle on Thailand highways and streets. The motorcycles will show you as well.